There are three kinds of vermin you don’t ever want to let inside your house – rats, roaches and poker players. And while the first two will only eat your cheese or crawl across your worktops, the third will take your money, drink your booze, criticise your CD collection, and then want to stay up playing all night even though you have to leave at 7am for work.

If you’ve hosted a home game you’ll know what I’m talking about. If not, trust me, Rentokil are missing a BIG opportunity. However, as it’s my job to be your poker guinea pig, no matter how unpleasant the consequences, this month I decided to have a tournament back at my place.