International football

	Instead of wheeling away to celebrate, I seized the moment by jumping into the arms of a startled Tomaszewski, kissing him on the cheek and screaming 'That's for '73, clown!'

Despite the disastrous 4-1 defeat in Denmark last month the bookies are still taking big money on England to win the World Cup next summer.

My mate Jake from Bet Direct assures me it's not just patriotic punting. The odds for England to win in Germany next summer haven't wavered from 7/1, which puts England as joint third favourites with hosts Germany, behind Brazil (7/2) and Argentina (5/1). As England prepare for their clash against Poland at Old Trafford on 12 October, it's little wonder thoughts are turning towards next summer.

There is a groundswell of belief that England have the best group of players since 1990, at least - when they weren't really given a chance but reached the semi-finals - and perhaps since 1970. Those who recall that first World Cup in colour 35 years ago can reminisce about what might have been had Sir Alf Ramsey not substituted Bobby Charlton when England led 2-0 against West Germany.

The eventual 3-2 defeat for an England team widely acknowledged as superior to the side which had lifted the World Cup four years earlier was, in hindsight, a huge hammer blow to the psyche of the English game. It created a sense of caution on the pitch, led by Ramsey's eventual successor Don Revie, and angst off the pitch as the hooligan era started to bite.

A spot of Poles dancing

The pivotal moment, of course, for the decline and fall of our national game before the post-Italia '90 renaissance was an autumn match against Poland in 1973. All England had to do at Wembley was beat the Poles to qualify for the following summer's World Cup tournament in, yes, Germany. Despite the game being goalless at half time it all seemed to be going to plan. After all, as Brian Clough working as an ITV pundit assured us, it was only a matter of time before Poland's goalkeeper Jan 'The Clown' Tomaszewski would get a ruddy nose.

England, with Martin Peters, Tony Currie and Colin Bell strutting around the midfield, continued to dominate, but Tomaszewski proved to be a trapeze artiste, saving everything thrown at him. Suddenly a bloke called Robert Gadocha hit England on the break and a fella named Jan Domarski rifled a shot under Peter Shilton's body. Unreal. How could we lose to Poland?!

England eventually pegged one back through an Allan Clarke penalty, but Poland, inspired by Tomaszewski, held out for a 1-1 draw, thereby knocking out England. That result instigated the end of the Ramsey era and saw us spend the Seventies in not-so-splendid isolation from world football.

I have to impart that eventually I got my own back on Tomaszewski. When England played Poland shortly before Euro 2000, the Polish press arranged a media match against the English hack pack. A late night on the local vodka saw me turn up a bit late, so I was standing on the sidelines as we took them on. In goal stood none other than Tomaszewski, now in his 50s and working for Polish TV. He hadn't forgotten his tricks as he kept denying our team - despite the presence of 'ringers' Terry Butcher and Trevor Brooking. With 15 minutes to go and the game locked at 1-1, I was called on to turn the tide.

Still a little hung over, my first touch knocked me over. Gradually I found my feet, and with one minute left I, er, scuffed a shot which fooled The Clown and nestled happily in the Onion Bag. Instead of wheeling away to celebrate, I seized the moment by jumping into the arms of a startled Tomaszewski, kissing him on the cheek and screaming 'That's for '73, clown!'

Sven, oh Sven, will I be famous?

The big man took it well and, unbelievably, the cameo was replayed time and again over the giant screen on the night of the game as part of the pre-match entertainment!

Far be it from me to doubt the bookies' wisdom, but I'm starting get a bit nervous - superstitious if you like - about Poland's visit to England in October. Now, given the two best runners-up of Europe's groups qualify directly for the World Cup finals rather than having to get involved in the lottery of a playoff, Bet Direct offer 1/66 on England qualifying for next summer. I think that's what they call odds-on. I tend to agree England are a different kettle of fish when it comes to competitive games than the friendlies Sven 'Groan' Eriksson has so undermined.

Yet despite Sven's superb record in qualifying matches so far, there could still be a sting in the tail when it comes to the last group game against Poland. The attitude in the England camp is far too cocky regarding their prospects in 2006. You can back Poland to win the game at 8/1, which is worth a shot. Maybe that'd be the ideal preparation for the World Cup finals next summer - England to qualify, but with a kick up the backside and Sven's swollen head to shrink.